July 8, 2005

Research now indicates that sexual education programs that encourage abstinence and offer information about birth control are the most effective at preventing teen pregnancy, according to a new report from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

The AAP report says that programs that discuss contraception don't increase sexual activity among kids. It also says that programs that emphasize abstinence as the safest and best approach, while also teaching about contraceptives, don't decrease contraceptive use.

"Current research indicates that encouraging abstinence and urging better use of contraception are compatible goals," the AAP says in its statement, which is based on a review of current research.

The findings are part of AAP's teen pregnancy policy statement, which has been recently updated to reflect new research on teen pregnancy trends and the effectiveness of sexual education programs. The new policy also urges pediatricians to encourage teens to postpone early sexual activity and encourage parents to educate their kids and teens about sexual development, responsible sexual behavior, decision-making, and values.

AAP policy statements are designed to keep pediatricians up to date on new research that may be helpful in treating patients.

Though teen pregnancy in the United States has steadily declined over the last 13 years, 900,000 teens still become pregnant each year. Many more teens are involved in sexual behavior that puts them at risk for becoming pregnant. The average age of first sexual intercourse is 17 for girls and 16 for boys, according to research from the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health research. About 45% of high school girls and 48% of high school boys have had sex, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

Many parents wonder about when and how to discuss sex with their kids.

Pam Bushnell, a clinical social worker at a children's hospital in Delaware, says that it's important for parents to start talking to kids about sex when they're young, instead of waiting to have one big conversation about sex when kids hit puberty.

Kids are likely to have questions over time about the physical changes they may be experiencing and sexual behavior. It's important for parents to answer those questions in a way that is appropriate to the child's age and maturity level.

From the time that kids are very young, it's a good idea to look for "teachable moments" - times like toilet teaching or bath time, or the birth of a sibling, when a discussion about sexuality might occur naturally and in context.

If your child doesn't ask questions about sex, don't ignore the subject. If you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about talking about sex with your child - and many parents do - you may want to try reading your child age-appropriate books relating to sexuality. At about age 5, you can begin to introduce such books. That way you can approach the topic in a setting that feels comfortable and familiar to you and your child - reading a book - and it also allows you to have the conversation without having to talk face-to-face, which, for many people, adds to the discomfort.

Many schools start sex education in the classroom in the fifth or sixth grade. Some of the topics addressed in a sex education class may include anatomy, contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy. It's important to be open to continuing the dialogue and answering questions at home.

Keep in mind that your child or teen may not feel comfortable approaching you with his or her questions about sexuality. That's okay. But it's important to make sure that your child has an adult that he or she trusts - like a teacher, a school counselor, a school nurse or a doctor - that they can approach with those questions.

Encouraging Your Child's Healthy Sexual Development

Regardless of how and when you decide to discuss sex with your child, these guidelines may help:

• Be your child's best resource. It's important, from a young age, for your child to feel that that he or she can always come to you with a question about sexuality, no matter what it is. It helps if you treat sexuality as a normal part of being human, not something "dirty" or embarrassing.
• Foster your child's self-esteem and teach your child to be comfortable with who he or she is. A child who feels good about himself or herself is less likely to give in to peer pressure and will be better able to handle relationships.
• Always be honest. You can always start with less detail and add more as your child becomes more curious - but lying or avoiding the tough questions can easily backfire. And remember, it's OK to say "I don't know" and get back to your child later, or to look up the answer together.
• Give the facts to your child, but also give your child a sense of where you stand. Teens, especially, may seem uninterested in your values - but they are taking in more than you think they are.
• Don't think that only moms should talk to girls and dads should talk to boys. Everyone has a role to play in supporting a child's healthy sexual development.
• Discuss with your partner the messages about sexuality that you want to convey to your child. Know what your child/teen is learning about sexuality in health class at school and discuss it together.

If you have questions about how to talk with your child about sex it's a good idea to talk with your child's doctor. Lots of parents find that this is a tough issue to tackle. And your child's doctor may be able to offer some helpful perspective.

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: July 2005