My 7-year-old daughter has been having nightmares, and often asks to come sleep in my bed. Is that OK?
– Elise

Nightmares are very common for kids so it's important to keep them in perspective and not let them become too big of a deal. A little comfort from you can go a long way toward helping your child feel better.

It's not necessary to let her come sleep in your bed or to stay and sleep in her room after a nightmare. In fact, offering to let her sleep in your bed might send a subtle message that you don't believe she can feel safe alone. By helping her feel better and get back to sleep independently, you show confidence in her ability to tackle what she's afraid of. And that's a skill that she can lean on throughout life.

Other ways to make a child feel better after a nightmare:

• Reassure your child that you're there.
• Convey that it was just a scary dream, now it's over, and everything is OK.
• Show that you understand that your child feels afraid and that it's OK.
• Help your child feel safe. You may need to check under the bed for monsters. For older kids, providing a night-light or a flashlight might do the trick.
• Help your child get back to sleep by talking quietly, offering something comforting like a favorite blanket or stuffed animal, and maybe talk about the pleasant dreams your child would like to have.

For more information, check out these articles:
Nightmares
Cosleeping and Your Baby
Anxiety, Fears, and Phobias
Should I Be Worried About My Child's Nightmares?

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: March 2007

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