Most kids like to blend in when it comes to the way they look. Friends might choose to wear the same kind of shoes or get similar haircuts. But other aspects of a person's appearance are tougher to change. Evan, 11, understands this really well. Like a lot of 6th graders, he likes "Star Wars" and soccer. But unlike most kids, he has a large reddish birthmark on his cheek. People notice this maroon mark and they haven't always been nice about it. But Evan doesn't complain. He's learned some important life lessons and turned them into a children's book he wrote with his mom. The story is about a little bird that has — you guessed it — a noticeable birthmark. Here's what Evan had to say about being a kid who's a little bit different:

What kind of birthmark do you have and what caused it?

I have a port-wine stain. It's blood vessels close to the skin that are wider than usual. I'm not sure what it's caused by. My mom asked the doctors and they don't really know what causes birthmarks either. Some people think it might be hereditary. My great-grandmother had a port-wine stain on her arm. But nobody else in my family has one. Some people say birthmarks are angel's kisses. I think that's true.

What’s it been like for you, having a birthmark?

I pretty much live a regular life, except for people asking me about it all the time. It's just annoying sometimes, because so many people ask me about it. And having to go to the laser surgery. They give me some medicine so it doesn't burn as much, but my face gets swollen and bruised for a couple of days. Then my face goes back to normal.

Why do you have laser surgery?

Because it will close up the blood vessels so that if I ever cut my face it won't bleed really bad. The surgery also lightens the birthmark for some kids, though it hasn't lightened much for me.

How do you deal with people’s comments?

When people ask me what's on my face, I just say, "It's a birthmark." I just don't really care about what people say. It doesn't matter what other people think about me, it's only important what I think about myself and I think I'm just a normal person.

Is there anything good about having a birthmark?

Yep. You're different than everyone else. You're unique. It's been good for me because it's gotten me to write a book with my mom, and it's helping a lot of people everywhere, so I think I was meant to have a birthmark.

What advice would you give other kids (who don't have birthmarks) when they meet a kid with a noticeable birthmark? How should they act?

You should treat the person like you would treat anyone else and not ask about their birthmark. If you do ask, be polite and not obnoxious. Try and get to know the person first and then you can ask them about their birthmark politely. Don't just jump right in to saying something that might be annoying and hurt someone else's feelings.

What advice would you give other kids who have birthmarks (or other differences) about dealing with people's comments?

You should focus on stuff that's important to you. Focus on your talents and show other people that your birthmark isn't the most important thing about you. You should be yourself. Don't care what other people think about you. You should just be proud of yourself. You should focus on your good qualities like how smart you are, how kind you are to other people, how athletic you are, how creative you are, etc. Be who you are and you'll make good friends. If some people still aren't nice, just don't be friends with them. You can't be friends with everybody. But you can still make a lot of good friends who have similar interests and like you for who you are.

Reviewed by: Patrice Hyde, MD
Date reviewed: June 2006